did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
