Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
