Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
