Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
