I CAN MOONWALK!
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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