i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I smell like Dick and happiness
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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