ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
