I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
