Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Randomize
