bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
