Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Sorry about my life...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
