I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
