If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
