so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
