.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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