you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We were destined to go to rehab together
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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