Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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