Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
