Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
