Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
