All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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