We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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