Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
