you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize