Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
