where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
