I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
