And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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