Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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