My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
is wine microwaveable?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
