she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
So many bounce houses so little time
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
