Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
