Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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