So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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