The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
