We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
