it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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