bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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