Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
