its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
