just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
