wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
