You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
