If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
