$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i love accidental penises.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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