he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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