Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
