the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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