I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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