I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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