I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
