Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
