well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
