im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
my being single is dangerous.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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