You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
