Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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