For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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